Lastien

Would there be people interested for meet-ups?

Literally just came home, took a cold shower, cried in it and went to bed.

It’s like there’s this small part of me that’s nothing but hurt and damages, some kind of ball that is just there inside, while the rest of me tries its hardest, doing sports again, exercising, drawing more than before, occupying my mind as much as possible, and most of all staying kind and good to the people responsible.

I walk around with this thing inside of me, I know it’s there, all the time, but I choose to ignore it for the good of everyone, and maybe at some point it will go away. I chose this because that’s the kind of person I think I am, the kind that forgives, if that’s what it means to forgive, at least not the kind that hates and ignores and never talks again.

Fuck you very much.

I am so fucking sick of eaves-dropping on pairs of girls in the metro or at McDonalds having girl talk about how all men are insensitive jerks driven by their dicks.

Sometimes I get stuck in a line of thinking, a bad one, the kind that hurts, and I keep thinking, on and on and on, until I just can’t anymore and at that point I punch the wall as hard as I can, and the pain in my knuckles and sometimes the blood actually takes my mind off of the thinking and I’m not stuck anymore and can go on again.

Yeah so aside from my psychological despair and depression, I started working on a book with my shots of New Zealand, which I’ve been thinking I should do for about a year.

It’s going to be like a travelogue, with both text and pictures since I wrote down everything I did there because I was in the midst of my 365.

Probably a final 50+ pages, 21x13 cm book which I hope to sell through HP Magcloud.